In Search of Awe

I consider myself a religious person. I go to church weekly, I pray, I meditate, I read the scriptures. I try to be a good person. I feel like most of the time I have things (mostly) “figured out” ™️ enough to feel content. Recently though, a feeling has been nagging at me that maybe I’m missing something, and it came from a few somewhat mundane experiences that happened to coincide with serendipitous timing.

First, I went stargazing while camping in a remote corner of Utah. Then, a few days later I toured a cave system underneath Mount Timpanogos. The mosquito bites and hike through the mountains were about as mundane as things come, but the feeling of awe that I got from both experiences was stupidly profound.

For whatever reason, I don’t happen to stumble on awe too often, maybe I’m not looking, or maybe it’s getting harder to find. Maybe it’s a mindset shift that turns the mundane into the sublime.

Either way, it’s led me to a principle I hope I’ll adopt: to seek awe.

What makes awe inspiring?

Awe is a mixture of wonder or majesty that is sometimes even paired with dread or reverence for the sacred and sublime.

Deep space or navigating deep into the earth’s crust evoke a certain admiration that you can’t shake. It coerces humility, and encourages you to appreciate the simple beauty. Space could kill you, and it will certainly inspire you.

That makes awe inspiring moments a little bit paradoxical:

• the stars are grand and vast, beautiful and pleasing to the eye
• the stars are dangerous, if you go anywhere near them you’d die instantly
• caves are pretty and unusual, with rock formations you can’t find anywhere else
• caves are imperious, as tight spaces with the potential for collpase, or loss of air

Awe seems to deepen your senses by making you feel a little smaller, re-emphasizing why you need to pick your head up and admire something bigger.

Encountering awe in media

Movies, music, art, or story-telling are all great mediums for communicating some kind of emotion. I’ve found that—for me—the rare place I’ve found awe very reliably is in a medium that sits right in the middle of movies, music, art, and story-telling: video games.

The first time I remember feeling awe was playing Journey on the PS3. I didn’t know what to expect, and had never played a game where I wasn’t given a clunky series of TODOs or a map with arrows telling me where to go.

You follow the subtle in-game cues through the desert to what becomes clear is your destination, a beautiful, towering mountain.

The story is open to interpretation, and you’re left with more questions than answers. I love that, there’s something more exciting about a good question than an answer.

Journey was great, but more recently I played Outer Wilds, which was just plain incredible.

In Outer Wilds you explore a solar system, spelunking through cave systems, and traveling the stars. The more you learn, the more questions you expose, you face death over and over. You feel small and insignificant, but yet you find a way to explore every corner of your small solar system.

Somehow, impossibly, these game developers extracted awe out of the ether and consolidated it into a potent dose.

I found myself wandering and wondering while playing, like I had staring up at the stars on that campout and navigating through the caves I’d seen in real life.

Awe & divinity

Every one who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the Universe-a spirit vastly superior to that of man, and one in the face of which we with our modest powers must feel humble. - Albert Einstein

The more I think and explore, the more convinced I am of God. In scripture, it’s stated again and again:

I alluded to these ideas in an earlier essay, and I think they’re worth repeating. If you look for awe, you’ll find it. There is a divine hand helping shape awe-inspiring moments all over.

Awe is fleeting, but transformative

The world has advanced so much technologically it can be to our own detriment. Light pollution blocks the heavens, making stars hardly visible in most residential areas.

We dig our noses in our phones to read the same irrational opinions of our peers over and over, while awe passes by.

Think a little more about what you might be missing, seek awe. Seek awe to change your perspective, and reverence the mundane as sublime.

Think of the life you have lived until now as over and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus and live it according to Nature. Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own, for what could be more fitting? - Marcus Aurelius

A chance to see the world differently is offered with every hit of awe, and I hope to find it. When I do, I think I’ll find myself a little better because of it.